My story for Men’s Mental Health Week – The highs and lows

For me, this year began with a super high followed by a crashing low. Furthermore, it’s coincidental that I wrote this story over Men’s Mental Health Week.

Everybody experiences different challenges, and as it is Men’s Mental Health Week, my story perfectly coincides with my feelings and what I have gone through over the past four months.

The high – I was invited to speak on BBC Radio and was voted a finalist for the “Inspiring Person of the Year” award by the National Outdoor Industry Expo. Just as momentum was building for the year, the perfect storm of the low immediately came.

The journey began with me assisting my parents on a flight to London for a holiday as COVID-19 and lockdowns had knocked their confidence entirely.

It all started as a lovely family reunion with my brother’s family, who flew in from the US, too, but it took an unfortunate turn when my mother fell down the stairs a few days later.

Men’s Mental Health Week – The highs and lows

The past four months have been nothing short of an emotional and physical rollercoaster for my wife and myself. Caring for my parents as my mother broke her femoral-neck bone and was left immobilised, my father depends on her for some of his needs, an autistic child experiencing regular seizures and a blind, diabetic dog has been a life-changing experience, pushing us to our limits in ways we never imagined.

Our days began early and ended very late, filled with constant care and attention to our loved ones’ needs. We averaged four and a half hours of sleep daily with virtually no time for ourselves.

For twenty long days, the hospital became our second home. Each morning, we would rise before dawn, prepare breakfast tailored to specific dietary needs, send my son to his special school and I would head to the hospital, an hour’s journey away with snacks and favourite dishes.

The days were filled with medical consultations, treatments and the emotional strain of seeing those we care about in need of help. Each evening, I would return home exhausted but determined to keep going. The hospital routine was gruelling, but we knew it was necessary post-operation for my mother.

After the hospital, the journey continued at a rehabilitation centre, where my mother was transferred for another two weeks. The transition was challenging but brought hope as we saw progress. The rehab centre was demanding with therapies and exercises that required our active involvement. We became the cheerleaders, encouraging and supporting through every small victory, setback and emotional conversation.

The emotional toll was immense and we couldn’t afford to falter.

The demands in the home

Meanwhile, our home life was equally demanding. Our son requires round-the-clock care and our blind, diabetic dog requires meticulous care and attention, too. Managing the dog’s condition meant regular insulin shots, monitoring his diet, and ensuring he felt safe and loved despite his disability and lack of our time. Of course, to remember the daily walks, too.

Balancing our son’s and the dog’s needs with those of the people we cared for added complexity to our daily routine. Complexity beyond imagination.

Cooking three different meals three times a day was another Herculean task. Each meal had to meet specific dietary restrictions. Meal planning and preparation became a daily challenge, requiring creativity and careful consideration to ensure everyone was well-nourished. It helped that both my wife and I are confident cooks.

Despite the exhaustion, there were moments of profound connection and love. My wife and I leaned on each other more, strengthening our partnership. The experience brought us closer together, revealing depths of resilience and compassion we didn’t know we possessed. Sure, we had many long talks analysing different situations and predicaments with each other, but we overcame the challenges including anything unexpected thrown at us!

In these four months, we discovered the true meaning of dedication and sacrifice. It was a period of intense hardship but also one of growth and transformation. We emerged from it with a deeper appreciation for life’s fragility and the importance of caring for those we love.

The emotional rollercoaster was undeniably exhausting, but it also reinforced the bonds that hold us together, making us more robust than ever before. This is another reason Men’s Mental Health Week highlights and encourages men to open up and have deeper talks.

I assisted my parents back home, 6500 miles away, to settle them in, as that’s where their hearts were moving forward as they wanted to remain independent. However, during this time away, my son had another brutal episode of seizures, and my wife was left to deal with it on her own, causing further turmoil and leaving her traumatised in the process.

My lasting thoughts

Know this: I am committed to humanitarian causes and have always put others first, but here’s what I’ve truly realised.

In times of gruelling challenges, what doesn’t break you only makes you stronger, and in life, nothing is permanent. The protective cushions in life can quickly become hurtful concrete slabs!

True strength is forged in adversity, transforming obstacles into stepping stones. Integrity and helpfulness are not public performances but are cultivated in the quiet, unseen moments at home.

Genuine character is built in these private acts of kindness and commitment. When no one is watching and recognition is absent, true virtues shine. These hidden efforts shape our strength and define who we are, proving that absolute goodness and integrity start behind closed doors, away from the public eye.

I find, nature and the wilderness have become an integral part of my daily life and a coping mechanism. Spending time among nature brings about mindful adjustments and bodily recharge like no other.

I could have easily resorted to drugs and alcohol as a release, turning my back on issues and challenges. However, nature has provided me with a solid platform for character development and peaceful progress.

It’s been my sanctuary and source of strength in navigating life’s difficulties. Hiking, trekking, biking and camping provide a pursuit beyond leisure; they are a platform for mind-altering resolutions!

I’ve noticed many women join these adventures to chat with others, while men don’t do so as much. Women naturally talk about their issues with each other, but men often find it hard to express themselves. Getting out in nature helps.

I believe that more Asian men should embrace nature, as their wives often suggest. Long working hours have led to more sedentary lifestyles, making it even more crucial for them to connect with the outdoors.

So, this Men’s Mental Health Week it’s worth considering your actions. Join me on my outdoor adventures and I’ll show you how nature can help you handle life’s challenges and improve your mental health. The great outdoors is a game-changer, but only if you allow the power of nature into your life!

Sign up to my newsletter to get the best of my adventure stories straight to your inbox.